The Plumber

Mansfield / Richland County Public Library

by Hannah Westfied, 12th Grade

The Plumber was quite a round man.
Dirt on his skin made him look rather tan.
He wore a two-piece jumpsuit of blue.
For a plumber, it was just the right hue.
He wore very loose pants that tended to droop
When it was under the cabinets that he would stoop.
At just the right height hung a belt ‘round his waist
Where his fancy accessories all had been placed.
Eating was he greatest hobby, so always was hidden
A ham and cheese Hot Pocket that his boss had forbidden.
Under the cupboards to fix a leak,
His skills as a plumber were most unique.
He carried the tools to get the job done right,
A toilet plunger, his wrench, and the will to fight.
Installing, repairing, and maintaining the pipes,
Industrial fixtures and systems of all types.
Thirteen years ago, he began balding away,
So for thirteen years he wore a toupee.
He was short and fat with an abnormally large nose.
His shoes did not fit because of his square toes.
On his right shoulder was a nametag that said,
“How may I help you? My name is Fred!”
A bright red toolbox held other provisions.
An imaginary friend helped him make difficult decisions.
He liked to tell jokes that were not amusing at all.
His lifelong dream was to play professional baseball.
With ladies, the plumber was unsuccessful in every way,
But that never stopped him from trying every day.
Although he often smelled like a trash can
The plumber thought of himself as quite a likeable man.

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